More Wild & Wacky Adventurers

Two new adventures from the multi-award winning duo Dianne Bates and Bill Condon, with illustrations by Cherie Dignam.

“Hardnut Hannigan and the Jewel of the Jungle” & “Captain Offensnotty and the Giddi-Giddi Zombies”


Two new adventures from the multi-award winning duo Dianne Bates and Bill Condon, with illustrations by Cherie Dignam.

In “Hardnut Hannigan and the Jewel of the Jungle”

Harold Hannigan’s parents knew their baby was different when he fell out of his cot and landed head-first on the floor. From then on, Harold was known as Hardnut Hannigan. Hardnut amazed the world with his extraordinary deeds; he climbed Mount Everest, without an oxygen mask; won an Olympic marathon; swam the English Channel – underwater! But, at 12 years old, he’d run out of challenges. Then he read about a long-lost, precious jewel in the deeply dangerous jungles of Mongo-Wongo. With his faithful emu Thunderbang and his beloved pooch, Itchybutt, he set off on the greatest adventure of his young life! Would he ever find the Jewel of the Jungle? And even if he did, would he live to tell the tale?

In “Captain Offensnotty and the Giddi-Giddi Zombies”

Not far into the voyage of The Concrete Slug, the crew discover that Captain ‘Potty Dotty’ Offensnotty is sneaking off at night to her home sweet home, which she has secretly towed behind the mother ship. While the crew has to survive sleeping fifteen to a bunk, their crafty captain lives a life of luxury, nibbling chocolates and watching television! Enraged, the sailors stage a mutiny, but before they can reach their captain, they must get past her very big and mean cat.  Then, the hapless crew are attacked by a sailor-swallowing sea serpent and the ferocious flesh-eating Giddi-Giddi Zombies! Will they survive?

Dianne Bates & Bill Condon

Bill Condon has written more than one hundred books for children and young adults, as well as numerous plays and poems. His titles have been shortlisted four times in the Children’s Book Council of Australia Awards, and in 2010 he won the Prime Minister’s Award for young adult literature. He lives on the south coast of NSW with his wife, Di. Author of 130+ books, mostly for young people, Australian Dianne (Di) Bates is a full-time freelance writer. Di has worked as a newspaper and magazine editor and manuscript assessor. She is a recipient of The Lady Cutler Award for distinguished services to children’s Literature. Bill and Di have written other stories in the Explorers’ series, including Captain Offensnotty and the Giddi Giddi Zombies, Major Hootensnooten and the Year 2500, Oscar Bubblesquirt and the Pharoah’s Curse, and several others.


Chapter One: Tazzie and The Legends!

Famed adventurer Tasman Wallaroo (known as Tazzie) sat proudly in her usual seat in the front row of the Intrepid and Incredible Explorer’s Club. Gathered around her were other amazing legends. Like her, they were Masters of Mayhem! Doers of Dashing Daredevil Deeds! They didn’t know what fear was – some of them couldn’t even spell it!

Just check out a handful of their nail-gnashing exploits:

Big Benny Biggalow had lived with a pack of lions for a year, just for fun. Eventually, the lions all ran away: they were scared of him!

Helga-Belle Chewlacky had won the Nobel Prize for Amazingness by being the first woman to swim up Niagara Falls!

Jasper Kaspareeni had climbed Mount Everest while sleepwalking!

Professor Curly-Jane Brane had all her fingers and toes bitten off by a school of sharks. Still underwater, she used a needle and thread to sew them back on again — while frightening the sharks away with her killer stare.

And finally – Pablo Diablo Junior! The very same Pablo who rode a pogo stick across the burning sands of the Sahara Desert for 20 days while carrying a sick camel on his back!

They were the wildest and toughest adventurers that this world – and the next – had ever known.

So why were they all crying?

As Tazzie handed out tissues and patted the legends on their backs, they poured out their tortured tales.

Each had journeyed far south of the South Pole to the wilderness known as the Winge-and-cry Windy Wastelands, home of the ferocious Abominable Snowman.

‘We were going to catch him and cash in on the ten-million-dollar reward,’ said Big Benny. ‘But we didn’t have a chance against him . . . We (sob, sob) ran away!’

‘Anyone would have done the same.’ Helga-Belle trembled at the memory. ‘The Snowman was so creepy that my hair turned white – and it was a wig! He had sticking out eyes and a hairy tongue!’

Jasper rolled his sticking-out eyes. ‘Are you by any chance confusing the Snowman with me?’

‘Oh, so I am,’ Helga-Belle said after a closer look at Jasper. ‘But the Snowman was even creepier looking than you!’

‘The worst thing about him was his poisonous pong!’ added Professor Curly Jane.

‘Indeed!’ Pablo went to hold his nose, but then remembered it wasn’t there. ‘With just one whiff of his fatal fumes, my nose fell off!’

‘So did mine,’ said Big Benny. ‘Luckily, I had some glue in my bag, so I was able to stick it back.’

‘But it’s on your chin,’ Tazzie said.

‘I never worry about little details,’ Big Benny said. ‘I was only glad to escape with my life!’

With that he again broke down in tears. And so did the others.

Tazzie felt a sudden rush of anger. Her friends were in a massive mire of misery. And it was all that Snowman’s fault!

Leaping onto a table, she roared: ‘Blast my britches!’

That got everyone’s attention quick smart.

‘I’ll capture that rascally Snowman!’ Tazzie promised. ‘And I’ll do it for each and every one of you!’

‘No, no, it’s far too dangerous,’ warned Helga-Belle. ‘More majorly menacing than anything you could ever imagine!’

‘You’ll have nightmares!’ cried Jasper.

‘Let’s not forget frightmares!’ said Professor Curly-Jane.

Pablo and Big Benny both fell to their knees and begged Tazzie.


But Tazzie had made up her mind, and no power on earth could change it!

‘Don’t worry about me,’ she assured her friends. ‘Worry about that dastardly Snowman! I’ll crush that cruel creep to crumbs!’

Despite their fears, the legends all let rip with a rousing cheer.

‘Go, Tazzie!’ they chanted. ‘Go, Tazzie!’

Tazzie was anxious to snare the Snowman as soon as yesterday. But first she had to prepare for the freezing frost-bitey conditions that awaited her.

Wearing only a blue-striped bikini, she lived for two months at minus 100 degrees in a supermarket freezer.

‘Cool!’ she replied, when asked how it was.

Next, Tazzie moved into the Super Supreme Fitness Gym where she trained 24 hours a day (sometimes 25!) She lifted weights up to a tonne, while running backwards on the treadmill. And she went so hard and fast on the rowing machine that it collapsed from exhaustion! Soon every inch of her body had rippling muscles – even her ears, which she used to carry really heavy bags.

Finally, when she’d finished her training, Tazzie’s six packs had become twelve packs. She was as trim and taut as Superwoman after a super makeover.

‘Watch out, Snowman!’ she roared. ‘Here I come, ready or not!’

Cherie Dignam

Weight N/A
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Ebook, PB


ePub, PB, pdf


Customer Reviews

1-5 of 1 review

  • IP (Interactive Publications Pty Ltd)

    Ideal for reluctant readers, Bates’ and Condon’s book makes reading scrumptiously fun. Youngsters will be so caught up in the action that they won’t realise they’ve gobbled up the whole book until they see the two saddest words in English literature: ‘The End’.
    – Dannielle Viera,

    September 22, 2023

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